Thursday, November 13, 2008

How to Marry Rich Revisited

Below this updated marriage commentary is the repost of a 12/3/05 post on shopping phobia possibly being cured by marrying wealth and it includes a link to a book on how to snag a rich spouse. Yes, shallow people, unite! I know, I know. You're not visiting this link because you're shallow but because you're practical, right?

"How to Marry Rich" was a popular topic at the now defunct Confessions of a Jersey Goddess blog, created as I explored my post-divorce life and stopped because I no longer live in New Jersey. I suspect "how to marry rich" is an equally popular topic in New Orleans, but I have yet to test that theory.

I said in 2005 in the older post that follows that I tended to bump into high-net-worth potential partners. That was true when I was in Jersey because New Jersey has a higher-income level than Louisiana, more money in general, and I had the opportunity to create a more high-brow social life if I chose to do so because I lived across the street from a natural matchmaker who seemed to know older, wealthier men. Really, all I would've needed to do was hang out and maybe take tango lessons.

It's the ease with which I could throw a dart and find a mate earning above $200,000 that caused me to think more about whether marrying a man with money or marrying at all was important to me. When you're alone after divorcing a man who earns a good living, after you realize you weren't content with him, that you ponder such questions. I discovered that for me spiritually centered trumps financially successful, and finding a spiritually-centered and man is much more difficult than finding a financially-successful one.

Back then I probably bumped into wealthier men also because I was in better shape (never skinny though) and paid more attention to my physical appearance, a must for attracting money, and a practice to which I should return regardless of having little interest in marriage. Down here in Louisiana I've been keeping to myself, and meeting no one, wealthy or otherwise. I haven't even acccepted Mardis Gras ball invitations or bought tickets. Helping to care for one's elderly parents kind of cramps social style.

Anyway, dating for any other reason than having fun is hard work and you've got to be up to and into that challenge. Nevertheless, if you choose to focus on getting married, remember that any marriage, income aside, has a better chance of working when you have something of your own first and know yourself, which is similar to something Beyonce said on Oprah. I include Beyonce, not because I take advice from the young woman, but because she's in the age range of younger women who are considering marriage for the first time in their lives.

Here's that old post from an equally old life.

Short Hills Mall Shopping Phobia--Could Marrying Rich Be The Cure?
From Confessions of a Jersey Goddess, 12/2005

Can marrying rich cure shopping phobia? For me, highly unlikely. Entering Short Hills Mall breaks me out in hives for about five seconds. The shi-shi-poo-pooness of it all reminds me of everything I was supposed to do but failed. I should've finished boarding school, but I didn't. I should've attended Mount Holyoke or Wellesley, but I didn't. I should've done whatever it took to catch K.R., who's now a heart surgeon in Atlanta with two clinics, but I didn't.

The very least I could've done is kowtowed to my ex and still be Mrs. Senior Manager of Big Pharma Company, but I didn't (He's been demoted since the divorce though. French companies like their managers married. He didn't get that memo.), and that's why I don't have the Volvo station wagon and can't waste money on valet parking at Saks Fifth Avenue or buy sweaters from Abercrombie & Fitch at Short Hills Mall in New Jersey, that and because I 'm not a size three. (More on Short Hills Wealth)

Have you noticed that rich people don't eat enough?

Anyway, my daughter dragged me to The Mall at Short Hills last weekend for the post Thanksgiving Day sales. (Lord, we thank thee that we could buy $120 jeans for $40.) It's my fault because I gave her a Short Hills Mall gift certificate last year. I wanted her to know that just because her father was no longer in the picture didn't mean she'd never see the inside of a ritzy glitzy store again and say, "I'll take it!"

However, I forgot that I'm basically not very elitist and really hate places like Short Hills Mall. Consequently, everytime my daughter asked me to go to the mall with her, I declined. She wouldn't go until I went with her. It took me a year to say yes. I spent my time sitting in Bloomingdale's Bakery, drinking coffee, people watching, getting depressed, and wondering if I've made the right choices.

Why do I get nervous when men with money get very friendly? A wealthy man could certainly make life easier. Shopping at Short Hills Mall without worrying about price tags would be wonderful, wouldn't it?

Later I talked to a friend of mine, a television writer. We concluded that I didn't have the Short Hills life because I'm too damned stubborn; I don't want to bend and also because it's not me. She however did want the Short Hills life, but not if she had to marry a rich but wrong man. She'd rather make her own big bucks, buy her own Rolls Royce, and pay for her own valet parking at Saks.

I feel pretty much the same way. I'd consider marriage if a man could be trusted NOT to start a campaign to turn me into a Stepford wife. Deep down that's been my fear since I saw the first Stepford movie. So if I don't want to go Stepford, I'll just have to do the damn thing myself. But they did do a remake. Maybe I should watch the Stepford Wives remake a few more times and be born again.

I did go on a date a few weeks ago with that gentleman who flew his plane in to see me. He liked the idea of marrying for practical reasons and so reminded me that marriage is a good choice for the sake of reliable companionship. Do tell. Awww, but he's not rich enough ... yet. Just kidding, B.K.

If you want to marry rich, I recommend Wendy Sutherland's How To Marry Rich. I never thought I'd say this, but the book has some cool social tips whether you want to marry rich or not. Great tips for having fun. I tend to bump into the "high net worth potential partner." Don't know why. So I can say that the book is pretty logical, common sense stuff some people don't think of.

This article from Forbes Magazine is also on the money, pun intended. Hehe.--->"Millionaires everywhere"

Why am I not married now or trying to marry rich today? I tend to say "No, thank you."

Update for this blog: I wrote a post at BlogHer earlier this year called, "Are You Marriage Material? Er, Do You Want to Be?" For me, the answer is "no."


Zandria said...

I live in an area where it wouldn't be too difficult to find high net worth partners...but I've never specifically gone for that. Not saying it would be a bad thing, but I just couldn't be the type who would look for money before the person.

Vérité Parlant said...

You're a smart young woman, Zandria. I've met plenty of men with money whose middle name is "disaster." However, I don't think I could marry someone who was penniless unless I was wealthy myself. LOL. Just me being practical. At my age, there's nothing romantic about struggling financially together.

I enjoy reading your posts on relationships at BlogHer. They give me insight into what folks in my daughter's age range are thinking. :-)

Thanks for dropping by.