From the Lost Love News: Woman found, heart missing
New Orleans, Louisiana - On Wednesday night NOPD officers entered a home in the 900 block of Love Struck Lane and discovered a ghastly scene. A woman, now identified as the poet Nordette Writes, lay in a pool of blood. Her heart was missing.
It's incredible, but when paramedics arrived, they discovered the poet still alive. "It's impossible!" said Dr. Harland Cousteau of Wilde Maladjustments Hospital, "This woman should be dead. No one has ever survived without a heart."
Police spokesperson Roderick Joseph said officers were called to the scene after a neighbor reported loud wailing coming from the woman's little shotgun home. Writes came to, according to officers, swearing that a lion in man's clothing had disrupted her entire life.
"She says he'd been coming to spend times with her for weeks," Joseph reported. "He romanced her and promised to protect her, but without warning he gobbled her heart whole right out of her chest."
The refused to speak directly with Lost Love News, but a nurse at the hospital who prefers to remain anonymous said she overheard Writes tell a priest that the man was not only a lion but also another poet.
A neighbor, Miss Hester Prynne, said she has not seen any lions in the neighborhood, however, "Ms. Nordette has been entertaining a tall, dark gentlemen. He has a deep, sexy voice and is very polite. But I never caught his name."
"Saints preserve us!" Sister Mary Francis Benedictine told us. She ministers to the hopeless at the hospital. "We've never seen anything like it. It's a miracle," she said.
Dr. Cousteau said he'd hardly call it that, and he refuses to believe the patient's lion story. "Somehow we are being fooled. It's some kind of illusion, and I will get to the bottom of it, I assure you. There are so many ways to trick us now with technology."
His colleague, Dr. Jung said he believes Writes is suffering from shock and is confused, "She's in what we call a fugue state. With proper treatment, we may bring her back to sanity, and she may even grow a new heart."
Writes remains in her room, resting comfortably but is emotionless, according to the anonymous nurse.
"It's all very puzzling," said Joseph. "Very puzzling indeed."