Monday, November 30, 2009

Harlequin Offers Self-Publishing? Say It Ain't So

Vivian Simone strode into Writers' Alley Coffee House as though she owned it plus the bar next door. Heads turned. Neither the men nor the women could stop themselves from watching her. Their eyes traveled from her dark chestnut waves to the soft lines of her collar bone down to her shapely legs and beautiful feet. She wore black stilettos well, and her firm breasts, narrow waist and ample hips made the emerald green draped jersey top with belted waist and matching knee-length, snug skirt speak exactly the language their designer wanted them to speak, but Vivian spoke a less friendly word to writers in the room.

"Hello, you starving scribes. I've got one message for you today. See how you like it!" She placed her hands on her hips and surveyed the room of experienced novelists and wide-eyed wannabes. Smiling, she said, "Harlequin Enterprises, the titan of romance novels, now offers self-publishing."

Rebecca Smith, who sat alone with her HP Mini Notepad in the far corner of the coffee house was the first to scream, and she fainted, knocking her white mocha cappuccino to the floor as she fell from her chair. The rest of the room followed with similar fits of panic. Men cursed, slamming copies of Writers Market or Poets and Writers on tables. Women stuttered, looking from their computers, where they'd only moments before edited a masterwork of love, out at the world beyond the windows. Suddenly it looked cruel.

"What will we do? What's to become of us?" The writers exclaimed at once.

"You'll suck it up, you crybabies, just like I did when I heard the news," said Vivian, walking to the counter to place her order.

She didn't notice the tall, dark gentleman in the sleek, charcoal gray Armani suit at the other end of the counter, sipping his Kenyan blend, black, but he saw her, strolled over, and nodded to the barista. "Put whatever she's having on my check," he said, and then ... Please continue reading at where this post moves away from fiction into the real world of writing for a living.


msladyDeborah said...

I hate Harlequin Books-ugh! My grandfather loved them and had a whole frickin' collection.

If the publishers are going to survive and breakout writers are going to be noticed-self publishing is one way to achieve that goal.

Marvalus said...

I read A LOT of Harlequin books and that first paragraph was spot on! LOL...

I don't know how I feel about this yet...but I'm leaning toward thinking it's a good thing. With the way things are going in the publishing world, you have to become your own company.