Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Lisa Durden: Black Men Dating White Women is a Bad Deal for Black Women

Lisa Durden is a New Jersey talk-show host. I met her when I lived there and interviewed her once. I plan to get that interview back online at some point. It dealt with black men on the down low. I decided to post this clip of her talking about interracial dating because I may be writing on this topic later at the African-American Books Examiner.

She is outrageously funny at times, and in this 2008 video clip below she's on the M&J Show sharing some words for white women dating black men.

Part of the transcript as I heard the conversation

Host: Lisa Durden says "When black men date outside their race, black women pay a price."

Lisa: I think interracial dating ... is a bad deal (for black women) black women because we don't have enough good black men for us to go around. (laughter) Hello!

Host: So marry a good white man!

Lisa: I think that if we had more good black men for us, we'd be fine. Listen, I'm very generous. If I had a whole loaf of bread, I'll give you two slices. If I have two slices, I want the sandwich for me!

Donna Carboni, a white female who dates black men: I want the whole loaf.

Then the discussion moves on to how black skin turns Donna on and Heidi Klum on Oprah telling why she was attracted to Seal, how white women are portrayed as the "vision of beauty."

Lisa takes issue with white women like Donna and Klum reducing black men to sex objects. Klum told Oprah that she saw Seal in bicycle shorts and was attracted to "the package."

Howard University Professor Kellina Craig Henderson is on as well saying that twice as many black men are involved in interracial relationships as black women.

O.K., Lisa is dominating this conversation, but that's Lisa. She's got some zingers for everybody and she's definitely not concerned about being politically correct on anything.

In closing, the white male host tells Donna that if she keeps tanning, she'll be black. And then he says he's just kidding her.

When I was a young woman in the late 70s and early 80s, I was only disturbed when I saw fine black men, who'd rate an 8 to 10 on attractiveness, with white women who were average to below average in the looks department. I felt like, "Yeah. Slap some black skin over that face and extra gut, and you know you'd pass it by."

Later on, black men earning more money as athletes and rap stars or business executives started appearing in the news more with white trophy wife material. And with the rise of HipHop, I saw more white men trying to imitate black rappers for their gangsta bravado and swagger that seemed to attract women in droves. So, times change. Possibly the stereotype of the black male as misogynistic gansta perpetuated by black rappers disturbed me at that point more than anything else.

Consequently, I got over my crumb of concern about who dates whom across ethnic groups. People have all kinds of issues about skin color. Perhaps they always will, and yes some people are dating outside their race for all the wrong reasons, but I no longer care, probably because I'm not in the dating pool at the moment. Furthermore, life is short.

Still, Lisa's appearance on the show was entertaining.


Vérité Parlant said...

If you're on Facebook, you may be able to check on the conversation on the Lisa video there.


Unknown said...

This woman is stupid and insecure. Get over it and up your game. Stop whining like a loser.