Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tiger Woods Accident vs. White House Party Crashers: What's Real News?

Tiger Woods has been released from the hospital in Florida. His injuries were not as serious as an early police reports indicated. But, he's a celebrity, you know, and the public, egged on by gossip sites like TMZ, is ready to dissect his marriage.

It's fishy that he was out at 2:25 in the morning, folks say, and if no alcohol was involved, then how did he crash his 2009 Cadillac SUV into a fire hydrant in his Orlando suburban neighborhood? Furthermore, rumors say that he and his wife argued before the crash.

And why did his wife use a golf club to break out the back window to free him? The plot thickens as TMZ claims a police officer called the crash a "domestic incident," and so naturally, there are rumors that he was having an affair, and for anyone reading this who's got a thing for inanimate objects, no fire hydrants were injured. I don't, however, know how the tree fared that Woods hit in this same single-car accident.

CNN is reporting on Tiger Woods's non-accident accident. Its story sounds like things got scary and were no phone, but nothing happened actually.
Police Chief Daniel Saylor said two Windermere police officers were the first to arrive on the scene.

"There was Tiger Woods laying on the ground in front of the vehicle with his wife over him rendering first aid," he told reporters.

"He was in and out of consciousness with lacerations to his upper and lower lip," Saylor said. "He was mumbling but didn't say anything coherent."

Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, told the police she was inside the house when she heard the accident. She said she went outside and used a golf club to break out the rear window of the vehicle, then pulled him from the SUV.

"According to the officers, yes, she was very upset," he said in response to a question.

But, he added, "Things like this happen all the time ... I understand he's stable and he's fine." (CNN)
My father was blasting the Today Show, I think, this morning while I was trying to sleep, and so I know that NBC is reporting on this non-accident accident as well. I heard juicier bits, one of which is that when police went back to Woods' home to question him, his wife turned them away, saying the golfer was asleep, but I didn't see anything on the Today Show website.

O.K., I'm an Occam's Razor kind of woman. If I hear hoofbeats, I think horses, not zebras because I'm not in Africa. If I smell smoke, I think something's on fire. So, when I hear that a rich, kind-of black but doesn't really wanna be black golfer dude crashed his SUV after 2:00 a.m. and then his platinum blonde wife tried to rescue him by smashing in the rear window of his vehicle with one of his golf clubs instead of waiting for the police, I think something's up. But ultimately, I'm not a golf fan, and Tiger Woods doesn't know I exist nor do I really know much about him, other than some people think he's the greatest golfer to ever live; so, if he's been driving deep on somebody's lawn other than his wife's, I don't really care, do I? But they do have cute kids.

Does anybody know why the mayor down in that Florida town is answering questions about Woods's accident? If Angelina Jolie broke the window on Brad Pitt's car after he crashed into a French Quarter fire hydrant down here, I don't think the Mayor of New Orleans would be asked to explain.

White House Dinner Crashers

In a sane world, much bigger news would be these folks who managed to crash a dinner at the White House, Tareq And Michaele Salahi. The couple wants to be on Real Housewives of Something or Other. What is it about wanting to be on Reality TV that makes people pull crazy stunts? Um, remember balloon boy was just last month.

This couple doesn't deserve attention as much as the deed itself, that they were able to crash a White House event. They weren't on the guest list and were able to pass through several security checkpoints without being caught. With all the threats against President Barack Obama (reportedly up by 400 percent), you'd think the Secret Service, overworked as they may be, could at least avoid letting strange people get close enough to shake his hand and hug Vice President Joe Biden. The agency is making apologies.

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