Black Woman at the Intersection: Sean Penn vs. Lee Daniels

This is not going to be some super thoughtful post such as one Tammy Winfrey Harris would write. This post is just me saying, "What the hell!" Sean Penn has filed a $1,000,000 defamation lawsuit against Lee Daniels, the man behind Fox's saucy, ground-breaking, hit show Empire. And as a black person who is also a woman, here I am squished at the intersection of being female and black. To whom should I remain loyal in this situation, a wealthy black man pointing out the plight of black people or women who are also opppressed? What is my opinion and why did Daniels and Penn have to go public with their jackass behavior?

On one side we have Penn pulling a typical white male of privilege move. He's suing a black man for millions of dollars for saying something numerous white-owned magazines have reported for decades.

And on the other side we have Daniels, a successful black man who seems to be more concerned about defending a man who's admitted to beating women than he is to finding a better way to tell reporters, "Stop asking us about that." He instead said something that gives the impression that it may be okay for Howard to beat women because white men do it all the time and get away with it. I know that's not what he meant, but it feels like he's in the ballpark of that poor logic.

The Penn-Daniels feud began with Daniels's statement in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter regarding one of the Empire stars, Terrence Howard. In an effort to defend Howard against constant questions about his domestic violence incidents, Daniels called out racism and brought up Penn's name along with Marlon Brando's in a "white guys have all the luck" kind of way. (He should have gone for Sean Connery, too, while he was at it.)

"[Terrence] ain't done nothing different than Marlon Brando or Sean Penn, and all of a sudden he's some f—in' demon," says Daniels. "That's a sign of the time, of race, of where we are right now in America."

See what Daniels tried to do there? But his deflection game is off.

He's alluding to the the double standard to which black men are held versus white men. And it's true that black men are berated and punished more harshly than white men for the same crimes. But Lee, really? Who writes this man's talking points, and why didn't he follow the advice given to everyone else working on Empire? If asked about Howard, say nothing.

I can possibly understand why Daniels, as Empire's co-creator, thought he should speak out, but he definitely said the wrong thing because:

1. Howard has beaten women.
2. It's never a good idea to defend yourself or others by saying, "Well, Johnny over there is also guilty."

Here is what Daniels could have said, "Terrence knows he was wrong. He has admitted to his deeds, and he's trying to change. How does constantly bringing it up help him work through this?"

Let me stop here a moment and say, "It is wrong for men to beat women." And "It is wrong for men to beat women."

But Penn, you also have a lot of nerve.

Multiple entertainment and gossip news sources, such as Huffington Post and TMZ, report Penn's lawsuit claims:

Daniels' statements are "egregious," as well as "reckless and malicious," as Howard has "reportedly, and publicly, admitted to physically abusing at least one woman and reportedly been arrested approximately five times for violent acts against women." As such, Penn finds the comparison to the "Empire" star to be untrue, claiming that while he has had brushes with the law, "Penn (unlike Howard) has never been arrested, much less convicted for domestic violence, as his ex-wives (including Madonna) would confirm and attest.'

It may be true that Penn was never arrested or convicted of domestic violence, but Daniels's statement was neither "egregious" nor "malicious." Reckless? Maybe -- but not for the reasons Penn says. It was a reckless statement because Daniels should have avoided saying anything that sounded like he was defending a man who's admitted to beating women.

Maybe Penn's suing because he is hard up for cash and craves the spotlight again. He also claims that Daniels mentioned him to get publicity for Empire. Again, really, Penn? Who's riding high right now, you or Empire? Didn't your last film, The Gunman, lose money?

As far as malice goes, that's probably just lawyer talk. Unless Penn's attorney can prove that Daniels has some seething beef against Penn, it's hard to argue malice. The lawsuit is probably just blowing smoke, too. A cease and desist letter telling Daniels that Penn has never been arrested or charged with such an act and maybe a public statement saying, "I want Daniels to stop it" would have sufficed. All the lawsuit is doing is reminding a new generation that Penn used to be extremely volatile and violent. I mean, how many people under 30 would know that Penn spent time in jail for assault without this lawsuit spotlighting him?

It's even difficult to argue that what Daniels said was egregious because Daniels is only slightly older than I am, so we're of a generation that recalls Penn's former life as Hollywood's bad boy.

About 30 years ago or so, I recall, stories that police had to go to Penn's home because his then-wife, Madonna, accused him of domestic violence. As that screen shot shows, the Associated press reported the story in 1989. Did Penn sue the AP wire? Has Penn been suing every publication and news show that's repeated the story since then?

Madonna's accusations may have been purely her speaking in anger because the pair was going through a vicious divorce, but it's also true that due to Penn's repeated run-ins with police for punching people in the face and hitting at least one guy over the head with a bottle, it's reasonable that Daniels and everyone else who read an article like the AP story back then to have believed that Madonna was telling the truth.

That the superstar dropped the charges against her husband later means nothing. Any divorce lawyer will tell you that women are pressured to drop domestic violence charges all the time, and many do. "Do you want him to have this on his record? This will ruin his career. He won't be able to bring in any income." That's usually the kind of thing women are told. So, some of these women decide not to see a prosecution through, especially if they feel guilty about their part in the fight or split. They know the American justice system prefers pure victims.

Did Sean Penn hit Madonna? I don't know, and if he did, he's probably not that man now. I think that he's matured and has learned to control himself. He's also tried to help people and do more good in the world. Still, is his getting in a huff and suing Daniels is a sign that Penn is regressing?

I believe that like anyone else Penn, as well as Howard, wishes people will stop bringing up his past misdeeds whatever they may be. Nonetheless, my questions to him are: Why doesn't that 1989 AP story say something like, "Penn denies ever hitting his estranged wife?"

Also, Daniels didn't start the rumor that Penn has beaten a woman. Madonna did that. Why isn't he suing her and the many publications that have since then reported the accusation? Why is Daniels his target?

"Head Games"--Yes, I did do an anti-abuse art project

This video features the art piece "Head Games." It documents a project I did for a required course in the MFA program at the University of New Orleans in Louisiana. The course is Form and Idea. Creative Writing Workshop students have had to take the course through the Film, Theater, and Communications department; however, this is the last year the course will be required for students in the creative writing MFA program.

The course has been replaced by craft courses in the students' specific disciplines, such as poetry and fiction.

My instructor was Henry Griffin, a screenwriter and film professor. He's a passionate and enthusiastic educator, consuming vast amounts of literature, film, and music. While I see the need for craft courses, even applaud their addition, I also think the program may lose something by not exposing its students to this interdisciplinary course.

For the final assignment, Griffin required us to take a piece of art from one genre--a song, a movie, a book, a painting, etc.--and adapt it to a different art form. I chose to turn Joni Mitchell's classic 1975 song "The Hissing of Summer Lawns" into the papier-mâché piece you see in the video.

The idea came to me when I saw local artist and fellow poet Valentine Pierce on Facebook showing off a wig head she'd covered with newspaper via papier-mâché. She did it for practical reasons--to show off hats at the French Market that she's created , but her photo caused me to recall seeing wig heads covered that way when I was a child. And then I remembered making a paper mache duck with my mother when I was bout 8 years old. She was an elementary school teacher.

One of the restrictions for the project was to not do anything you've mastered. We had to do something that we've never done before or had not done in a long time. Paper mache fit the bill for me. Previously I had thought about turning the song into a movie poster, but my drawing's rusty, and the 3-dimensional aspect of the head appealed to me.

Mitchell's song is about a woman enduring psychological abuse and control-freak tactics, so I curated tweets from the #WhyIStayed Twitter campaign launched by Beverly Gooden last year and typed them up, printing them on the laser printer. Later I pasted then on the top of the head. Throughout the piece I also used Joni's lyrics handwritten on different types of paper (newsprint, construction, printer, tissue) and some of the psychologically crippling words I've heard or read before.

The head represents a woman trapped by mental abuse, one who doubts herself, and fears leaving her abuser for whatever reason. That could be financial fears, fear of losing social status, fear for children, or fear for her own life. Sometimes it's all of the above.

Instead of using Joni's actual song, I used the karaoke back-up because I don't want her people to get on me. :-)

Solange attacks Jay-Z, but what did Beyonce say? (extended video) Solange irate for a while

I have read two reports about the Solage vs. Jazy-Z incident that say Beyonce stood off to the side, as though the superstar whimpered in a corner of the elevator. One even says, "Beyonce stands there, adjusts her dress." But when I look at the TMZ video, I see that Beyonce does not just stand there. Somewhere between the 00:25 and 00:30 second mark, her lips are moving, and she faces Solange, and later she and Jay-Z seem to be talking to each other.

Read update: Solange deletes all pictures but one of Beyonce on Instagram account while Beyonce posts a prayer asking God for discernment about all of her relationships . . . Click here.

 According to the original TMZ story, "All three walked out of the building together -- Solange looks pissed -- but while Bey and Solange get in one car ... security walks Jay to a different one." So I'm guessing in the elevator, Bey was saying to her sister something like, "Girl, you better get a hold of yourself" or "Solange, calm down. There are cameras in this elevator." Per TMZ, Jay-Z, Beyonce, and Solange were coming from a Met Gala, and as you can see in the video, body guards restrained Solange.

Jay Z PHYSICALLY ATTACKED by Beyonce's Sister Solange - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

And on this extended video, when Solange is no longer restrained but makes a move toward Jay-Z again (02:06), not only does the body guard position himself between Solange and Jay-Z, but so does Beyonce.



The NOLA.com blogger rightfully points out that Solange, who recently performed at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, lives part-time in New Orleans, and the post includes the following tweet from a New Orleans resident.

I want to believe Jay said something like, "Did you read latest @nytimes travel piece about #NOLA? It was garbage," then #Solange attacked!
— Brian W Boyles (@BrianWBoyles) May 12, 2014

Yes, that tweet made laugh.

If my brother were still alive, he'd probably say something like, "That's that New Orleans coming out in Solange," which is what he told me when I yelled at this woman in New York once to stop doing something, and she stopped, too, but I don't know what came over me.

People forget that the Beyonce and Solange have a Louisiana heritage via their mother's family (Beyonce gets her name from her mother's maiden name, Beyincé). The family is considered to be "black Creole," but technically they're black Cajuns if this Wikipedia article is correct. According to the entry, in addition to African ancestry, the Beyincé family traces part of its line back to Joseph Broussard, the Cajun leader who organized the Acadian resistance.

I'll add that in general, Cajuns are considered to be a feistier bunch of European immigrants (Basque to Acadia to Louisiana) than French Creoles. So, while a lot of people are probably talking about Solange today and linking her feistier side to her black roots, it could be those Cajun genes were showing themselves. I'm just saying.

I'm guessing that we'll never know what set Solange off or why she and her sister, Bey, left in a separate limousine. The obvious reason is that another outburst would have been harder to control in the confines of a limo. But men, please take note, nobody swung back at Solange, which is probably the only positive thing that can be said about the video. I tire of men who justify beating a woman up because she was the physical aggressor. I'm thinking now of all the people who defended Chris Brown because Rihanna allegedly threw the first punch.

And what do we learn from this video? Nothing that we didn't know already: no matter how rich, no matter how famous, people have problems with in-laws.

Lake Mary, Florida, Police Chief Agrees, George Zimmerman Is Another "Sandy Hook" Waiting to Happen

George Zimmerman's name came up today during a church sermon. The guest speaker said that Zimmerman's latest incident shows him to be a volatile man, dangerous man. "You do believe that it was Trayvon Martin calling for help, right?," he asked. The question was rhetorical. The speaker had said that gated or otherwise, a neighborhood without genuine neighbors is a hood with hoodlums, meaning Zimmerman. The tale of "The Good Samaritan" was his scriptural reference.

The mention of GZ caused me to look up the latest news on him because the last I'd heard was that there had been a domestic violence incident and his estranged wife Shellie and her father, whom GZ allegedly punched in the nose, refused to press charges. The two are going through a divorce.

I was not surprised that Shellie Zimmerman refused to press charges; however, I saw men on Facebook who declared that she must have been lying about George becoming violent if she dropped the charges. I told someone else that more than likely Shellie had been pressured by her and Zimmerman's attorney to drop the charges. Divorce attorneys urge women to drop domestic violence charges with statements such as, "If he goes to jail, he won't be able to work and pay support." So, the woman drops the charges but later is subjected to accusations that she lied because she dropped the charges.

In any event, the latest news on Zimmerman is that Lake Mary, Florida, Police Chief Steve Bracknell (pictured above) says in an email to Santiago Rodriguez, a concerned citizen, that he agrees with Rodriguez's assessment that Zimmerman is a "ticking time bomb" and another "Sandy Hook" waiting to happen. Bracknell also says that Zimmerman did indeed punch Shellie's father in the nose. Furthermore, Bracknell believes Zimmerman had a gun that day, but that GZ hid it in his car, which the police did not have the authority to search.

He also says in the email that he wants nothing to do with the Zimmermans and that in his town, he wants officers to follow the law. He reminds Rodriguez that it was his department that gave Zimmerman a $256 ticket earlier this year for speeding.

You can read more about the exchange at the Guardian and also at Think Progress. Bracknell has confirmed that he wrote the email. You may read the unedited emails at Scribd.

Zimmerman was acquitted earlier this year for shooting and killing 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, a black teen who was unarmed and walking back to the home of his father's girlfriend in Sanford, Florida.

If find this latest news all the more tragic and telling: tragic because a young man--a boy--is dead, and his killer walks free to create mayhem, and telling because soon after the Trayvon Martin murder broke as a national story, it became clear that Zimmerman had had not only a history of violence but also an obsession with becoming a police officer. He had been rejected, however, reduced to being a wannabe with neighborhood watch.

GZ also has a proven history of claiming the other person was the aggressor after the other person presses charges or, in Martin's case, winds up dead. Did the prosecution bring any of this up at trial? Was it deemed irrelevant information by the judge?

I have always thought that the racist behavior in Trayvon Martin's case was--first--GZ's decision to racially profile Martin and to get out of his vehicle and follow him and--second--the Sanford Police Department's decision to believe GZ's version of the story, take away Trayvon Martin's body, and not even bother to find out whose child he was. Their decision to believe GZ was not due to some great confidence in GZ as an upstanding, mentally stable citizen but due to their own racial bias. They too easily believed that any black boy, even one talking on a cell phone while carrying a bag of Skittles and a bottle of tea, is most likely a violent criminal deserving of death.

So, I see Bracknell's treatment of Zimmerman more in line with typical police behavior when police officers really want to follow the law and protect their communities. After hearing evidence of Trayvon's murder with the rest of us and now after watching how Zimmerman's behaved since acquittal, they think something is wrong with him and he bears watching. They don't like the way GZ eagerly takes matters into his own hands. They think he's a guilty man.

Feels Like Deja Vu: Another Santa Claus Massacre

The Associated Press and other news sources report that the pleasant memories of Christmas 2012 have been marred for residents of Grapevine, Texas. For the first time in more than 18 months, someone committed murder in the small town. A man dressed in a Santa suit shot to death six people ages 18 to 60 on Christmas morning while the family opened presents, and then the gunman killed himself, bringing the total to seven--four women, three men.

My first thought today when I heard about yesterday's massacre was that it was a copy cat because I remembered writing about the "Santa Claus Massacre" of 2008 in California. That tragedy had a death toll of 10. I also recalled that on December 24 someone appeared in my blog statistics looking up the California crime, and I thought then that it was strange for someone to look up so grisly a crime the day before Christmas, especially since the crime happened three years ago. I checked that stats report again tonight, but could not tell the location of the visitor because the person used a wireless, Verizon connection. More than likely it was a coincidence, but seeing that the person searched the day before these Texas murders leaves a chill.

The shooter in the California Santa Massacre also dressed in a Santa suit. He and his wife were going through divorce. As I wrote back then, "He shot an 8-year-old girl in the face first when she opened the door happy to see Santa. So far in the Texas case, such horrific details have not emerged. Some of the victims were visiting from out-of-town and as of noon today, the Grapevine police still had to notify next of kin.

MSNBC reports that there is no known motive in the Texas shooting; however, the AP story says the man and his family had lost a house in foreclosure and was estranged from the women in the house. The AP also says that the family was murdered while opening Christmas gifts.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

In addition to the video above, KXAS, a local station, also has video.

Woman Who Posted Video of Her Father, a Judge, Beating Her, Appears on Today Show with Her Mother

Hillary Adams, 23, the daughter of Judge William Adams of Rockport, Texas, Aransas County, appeared on the Today Show this morning to talk about the disturbing video she posted on YouTube that shows her father and mother beating her in 2004. She was 16 years old at the time of the beating and that wasn't the only one, she says.

The video sparked anger and outrage on the Internet. It is difficult to watch and learning that Hillary has Cerebral Palsy only makes her father seem like more of a monster as he curses at her and whips her with his belt. In the video he speaks of beating her into submission.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Hillary told Matt Lauer that she uploaded the video to YouTube after her father continued to harrass her. "She'd had enough," says another reporter in the Today Show clip.

The judge responded yesterday and only admits to losing his temper. He claims he was disciplining his child, nothing more. Furthermore, he says that the video looks worse than what really happened, and he was beating his daughter because she was lying and stealing. In the YouTube video he calls the beating a spanking.

Hillary says she had downloaded music from an overseas website. Whether it was illegal or not is open for debate, but Judge Adams, a family court judge thought the infraction demanded a brutal response. In the YouTube video he says he never wanted a computer in his house.

The judge most likely cannot be prosecuted, say legal experts, but he may be forced from the bench, according to multiple news sources. The public's flooded Rockport court offices with demands that he be removed from office and subjected to harsher consequences.

Hillary's mother Haley also speaks during the Today Show interview. She has divorced the Judge since the 2004 beating and apologized for participating in the abuse. She also says that she was brainwashed and confused after living with a controlling man who is now threatening to take her to court and sue for custody of their other daughter.

Hillary says that the beatings happened regularly, which is why she set up the camera, but she couldn't release her footage sooner because she was still a minor and living under her father's roof.

Watch the video. I also recommend Rita Arens's post at BlogHer, which at the time of this writing has 125 comments from women fuming over the judge and the YouTube video.

Hillary appears in her Today Show interview to be conflicted about having posted the video because of the number of people who now want to harm her father. She hopes that he gets help and therapy, she tells Lauer.

I don't think therapy can help a man at his age who doesn't think he's done anything wrong. According to Hillary, when she told him she would post the video online, he seemed to dare her to do so. I hope he's thrown from the bench and disbarred.

Related: Former Florida Judge Karen Mills-Francis tells a CNN panel featuring Dr. Drew that it's not illegal in Texas to beat your child with a belt and the panel turns on her, getting pretty angry.



An older story, earlier this year a father beat his adopted daughter to death and claimed his religious beliefs dictated his doing so.

Man in Wheelchair, Age 78, Kills 3 Women. Story Gets Worse

When I heard that this 78-year-old man in a wheelchair shot and killed his 31-year-old girlfriend/wife, her mother and her sister, had also less than year ago been charged with beating his young wife and was acquitted of the charges days before the murder, my first thought was that his old age and visible infirmity, probably worked in his favor in court. The judge probably assumed the young girlfriend/wife made up the allegations that he beat her. (One story says one of the murder victims was his wife, another says girlfriend.)



As it turns out, the old dog has been committing violent acts against women since his younger years, including allegedly raping a young girl repeatedly over the course of five years when he was in his sixties. The girl, however, later dropped the charges. The alleged rapist was her mother's boyfriend.

I'll tell you that there are all kinds of ways a victim can be coerced to drop charges, especially when the man is dating her mother or in some cases is a spouse paying the bills. Dropped charges in cases of domestic violence and criminal rape is never proof the victim made a false allegation. I acknowledge there have been cases where women gave false testimony, but those cases are the exception not the rule.

From WWL-TV:

Just days before SWAT officers responded to her shooting death, 30-year-old Jennifer Muse tried to get her 78-year-old boyfriend, Alfred Andrews Sr., in jail for domestic violence.

Police say Andrews shot her, her mother and her sister, but spared the 14-year-old son they have together.

"It's a real tragedy because the children have to suffer, the parents and loved ones and family are going to suffer," said a neighbor living near the scene of the shooting.

Muse filed the domestic charge against Andrews in July, and Monday, Magistrate Commissioner Marie Bookman acquitted and released him. She explained her judgment in a letter Wednesday, saying no evidence was presented to her of domestic violence.

Read full story.

I tend to believe once a man shows a pattern of beating and raping women, it's unlikely he'll break that pattern. The case of this old man shouts that women need to see these men for what they are and stop thinking they'll outgrow the violence or grow a conscience and exercise self-control.

In addition, the system should do more to protect women and judges should stop deciding guilt or innocence based on appearance. I don't care what the magistrate says; I'll always believe she was swayed by his age and signs of disability into thinking he was harmless.

My second thought when I learned of this case was what kind of desperate life must that 30-year-old been living to let a 78-year-old man in a wheelchair take her power and roll with it? More than likely when the relationship started, Andrews was not wheelchair bound and established his power over her early.

He sounds like pedophile and may have groomed Muse when she was much younger, considering that their son is 14 years old. That means Andrews had sex with Muse when she was 16 and he was 64. It's highly probable that he started working on her before she was even 16 years old.

This man continuing to abuse women in his old age, even after he was wheelchair bound, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "hell on wheels."

Update: Just found this story at the Times Picayune, "Treme triple-murder suspect's poor health a factor in domestic abuse acquittal."

On Monday, 78-year-old Alfred Andrews rolled into court in a wheelchair to defend himself against allegations that he beat his 31-year-old wife. He was acquitted.

Two days later, Andrews grabbed a rifle and gunned down his spouse, her sister and her mother -- a rampage against the women in his life. The only person spared was the couple's 14-year-old son, whom police described as mentally challenged.

After his killing spree, Andrews called his daughter and told her he had shot his wife. He then fired a bullet into his face, ending the nightmare inside the Treme home where they all lived, police said. Andrews was taken to University Hospital where he was listed late Wednesday in critical condition.
(Read more)

The two stories from WWL-TV and the Times Picayune don't match or mesh well. While the WWL-TV story says it was a different 16-year-old who filed charges against Andrews in 1996 for rape, I'm starting to think that his wife/girlfriend and the young girl who accused him of rape may be the same person.

If at 16 she found out she was pregnant by him, that information would have been a factor used to convince her to drop the rape charges, or her mother, Andrews former girlfriend, could have persuaded her to file the rape charges to pressure Andrews into marrying her and taking care of the baby. According to the Times Picayune story, Muse's mother, Wanda Wagner Simpson--one of the murder victims--also dated Andrews, the suspect, in the past. The dates line up to indicate this is the same family referred to in the 1996 aggravated rape case. If it's not the same family, then that means Andrews did the same scenario with another family.

So, it seems that this man molested this young girl from the ages of 11 to 16, impregnated her, married her and also beat her. She finally got the courage to take him to court again, 14 years after the first time she accused him of rape, and he showed up to court in a wheelchair, gained the judge's sympathy, was acquitted, and went home and shot the women who kept him out of jail the first time. This is a morality tale, a very disturbing, sordid tale with a lesson for us.

You Can't View Hit the Bitch but What's Wrong With Bubble Girl?

I have something to say about the book Half the Sky or the Half the Sky Movement, but first the deceptively small stuff.

I used to play this game called Bubble Woman or Bubble Girl, and I didn't remember the "game" until I found myself commenting on Suzanne Reisman's post about the Danish so-called anti-domestic violence campaign known as "Hit the Bitch." Presented as a game that teaches players domestic violence is wrong, anyone could visit the Danish website and hit a virtual woman over and over until women around the world blasted the campaign as counter-productive, ineffective, and offensive.

Considering that the Danish have have removed "Hit the Bitch" from global Web access, I wrote the following on Suzanne's post regarding the female unfriendly game, Bubble Woman/Girl. This game, which I think was produced by a Russian guy, wasn't designed to send any kind of anti-violence against women message. It was produced for entertainment only, and I've posted a link to the game below in the excerpted comment. Something's very disturbing about it. What do you think? Is Bubble Girl simple fun or misogynistic?

That they (the Hit the Bitch Danish people) put the site up at all under the guise of bringing awareness to domestic violence by asking you to hit a virtual woman made me want to cuss a lot.

People don't think. I remember when I first saw "Bubble Woman/Girl," a really neat looking computer program that let you drag a half-naked woman through bubbles and watch her fall, I was fascinated with how it looked, how she fell through the bubbles, and especially intrigued when music was playing in the background. Partly I was fascinated because I was in awe at the programmer's skill. That was five or six years ago.

And then one day shortly after I discovered the program, I thought there's something wrong about this. Why is it a woman? Why is she almost naked? And does she look happy at all going through these bubbles? Does it look like the bubbles are painless? Game over.

That was game over for me, but Bubble Girl is still popular. Look, she's online as a "funny" game.  And she's embeddable now. You can add her to any website.


Click to Play!

Nordette Adams is a BlogHer CE & you can find her other stuff through Her 411.

Periodically you'll find me posting on violence against women and domestic violence. The subject matter falls on me and I have to say something. Too often we excuse violence against women, misogyny, and patriarchal sexism as a fact of life we must accept. We couldn't be more wrong.

Yesterday, I watched Oprah's show on violence against women, global discrimination against girls, and how you can help. She interviewed Pulitzer Prize winning author of Half the Sky, Nicholas D. Kristof who wrote the book with his wife Sheryl WuDunn. (Read an excerpt.) The assertion was made repeatedly during the show that one of the most effective things you can do to change the world for the better, if you want to address poverty and injustice, is to educate a girl, change the life of a woman positively for the good of us all.

I spent a significant part of that Oprah episode weeping. I also watched Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's message on her work to help women and girls around the world. I was already aware of this crisis, and I've been writing about it for years, but I've got to do more to address this need and the injustice.

Visit HalfTheSkyMovement.org.
Women aren't the problem: They are the solution along with Men.

Obama Responds to Domestic Violence Legal Aid Question in New Orleans

I'm working on a Domestic Violence Awareness Month post for BlogHer.com, and had planned to include the question from a woman in my hometown to Barack Obama during his visit to New Orleans on October 15. The president was keeping his promise to visit the city before the year's end to check on progress four years after Hurricane Katrina. He held a Town Hall at the University of New Orleans, and I couldn't go. Dental surgery. However, I was able to watch his appearance live on TV.

One woman's question stuck with me regarding the need for more legal aid funding for victims of domestic violence. I thought I would include her question in my BlogHer post. However, as I was working on that, I decided it was too long, and too much. I know we need more funding, but I didn't have the time to gather the figures behind the fact. And so, I realized that it would better to post her question here on my blog as a reference link with a little commentary following.

Here's her question and the president's response.

Q Hi, Mr. President. My name is Narkise Barack (phonetic).

THE PRESIDENT: Is that right? Wow! (Laughter.) You and me. (Laughter.)

Q And I'm a single mom of three daughters. I have my eldest here -- she's 12 years old.

THE PRESIDENT: Hey, you. What's her name?

Q Yasmine.

THE PRESIDENT: Yasmine? That's a nice name.

Q Yes. And she goes to Lusher, which is one of the top schools here. (Applause.) My question has to do with an article that came out today in the Times Picayune in which it reported that Tom Perrelli, the Associate Attorney General, was lauding local non-governmental and governmental agencies in the effort to help women who were victims of domestic violence.

I don't know if you know, but the rates of domestic violence rose quite dramatically after Katrina and have continued to rise. And one of the problems is we've got agencies that are helping women with things like therapy and food and help with their children. The problem is that our legal aid clinics -- Tulane, Loyola, NoLAC -- all of these clinics have been so overburdened with cases that have to do with Katrina, that a lot of people can't get access to legal help.

Now, the segment of the population that's most suffering from this are women, and by extension, children. You can sit in court in Jefferson Parish, in Orleans Parish, for a whole day and watch a whole docket of cases, and not a single woman has legal counsel. So I wanted to ask you -- I know that you and Mr. Biden have been supporters of the Violence Against Women Act, and I was wondering what you can do to ensure that women in Southeast Louisiana have their civil rights protected and their due process protected. (Applause.)

THE PRESIDENT: That's a great question. As I mentioned, speaking broadly, obviously there continue to be concerns about crime in the region, post-Katrina. And not only have we helped to fund Mayor Nagin and others to be able to rehire cops and rebuild police stations and so forth, but also to build a more effective judicial system, because that goes with it. We've set up a violent crimes task force that is up and running, and coordinates between the FBI and all the various local and state agencies.

So there are a range of steps that we've taken generally to address crime. But I think you're making a really powerful point, which is that when it comes to domestic violence, oftentimes that's under-reported because women don't feel that they have the support they need in order to step out from those situations. The issue of legal representation is still a big problem.

So what I'd like to do is to learn more specifically about what's happening here. I will ask -- I'll probably ask Tom Perrelli, since you mentioned him, who is Deputy Attorney General, to make sure that he investigates specifically how we can work more effectively with the legal aid organizations down here to provide more support. So thank you for bringing that to my attention. That's great. (Applause.) Transcript at LA Times

The president was correct that his man Perrelli is the one who should have an answer. The Deputy Attorney General preceded his boss and was in the city the day before talking about the domestic violence crisis in Katrina's aftermath.

“It’s rare that any community would face devastation across every aspect of the system, from transitional housing to courts,” said U.S. Associate Attorney General Tom Perrelli, in visit to the metro area.

Perrelli spent the day in New Orleans, meeting with advocates who work with domestic violence victims and getting a first-hand look at efforts to confront the problem.

“Louisiana, historically, has had incidents of domestic violence among one of the worst in the states and [was] number one based on the 2007 data, the most recent data we have,” Perrelli said.

The problem, though, extends beyond the city limits and into rural areas. One such instance occurred last month in rural Livingston Parish. That is where 50-year-old Dennis Carter killed his estranged wife, his son and his two-year-old grandson, before killing himself. Carter’s wife had filed a restraining order against him. Victims’ advocates said protecting domestic violence victims in rural areas remains a challenge.

“We’re talking about very rural, remote communities, where truly innovative solutions need to be found for those needs,” said Catherine Pierce, with the Office of Violence Against Women. (New Orleans Top Stories)

We had horrible domestic violence stats before the storm, and just as domestic violence is reported to have increased across the nation with the recession, cases of domestic violence seem to have worsened as Gulf Coast families buckled under Katrina devastation.

And yet, the domestic violence crisis down here, the increase and the need for funding still doesn't get the media attention you'd expect. Yes, the media will cover a murder but doesn't do as much as it could to make the public more aware of the signs of domestic violence and what we can all do to prevent abuse among family members.

For instance, I surfed our daily newspaper's site, NOLA.com aka The Times Picayune, for stories on the domestic violence crisis. Despite it being domestic violence awareness month, the paper's search engine found only one story specifically focused on domestic violence and proactive solutions published in the last three months. It's about a program in St. Bernard Parish. What appears to be a second such story on domestic violence funding is a repeat of the first St. Bernard article, and the only other stories are those about specific domestic violence crimes, in other words, run of the mill if it bleeds it leads news.

In fact the only other story I can see to add is one about Perrelli's visit and his praise for the city's progress under duress.

Even in the paper's story about the president's visit to the city in which the single mother's question is mentioned, the reporter underplays the value of her query to the president, writing "But the rest of the queries concerned domestic violence prevention, immigration laws and the ongoing health-care debate -- issues that could come up in any American city, even if some of them are felt more acutely in post-Katrina New Orleans."

My adventure in reading about domestic violence and New Orleans causes me to say that the action vice president for NOW is most likely right, domestic violence is not getting the attention from mainstream media that such a serious topic deserves.

Chris Brown Doesn't and Does Recall Beating Rihanna

First, let me say that while I know that being raised with domestic violence, as it's reported Chris Brown was raised, may result in your also being a physically abusive partner, my sympathy for the young singer is limited. Nothing excuses a man beating a woman. Brown, seeking to save his recording career, has made multiple public apologies for severely beating another star, Rihanna during what began as a "lovers' quarrel" this winter.

The public weighed in then and continues to weigh in. Unfortunately, we still have people, often named Anonymous, popping up in comment sections, who don't get that the Chris Brown-Rihanna incident or beating the hell out of someone and then asking forgiveness is not about love or romance. Neither is it something to brush off, letting by-gones be by-gones. Yet, we see people, young and old, male and female, blaming Rihanna for Brown beating her with arguments that amount to "she was asking for it."

All that said, when Chris Brown appears to tell CNN's Larry King in a clip from an "exclusive" interview that will air Wednesday night that he doesn't remember beating Rihanna, I think he may be telling the truth. The real truth. There is evidence from the field of psychology that blind rage makes one exactly that, blind. A beating like the one Brown gave Rihanna is an example of primal rage unleashed.

Nevertheless, perhaps doing damage control for public perception that a blurry memory of your beating someone up is akin to not taking responsibility for your actions, Brown's released a statement through his record company, Jive Records, explaining his comment to King. He says that the CNN clip was taken out of context and that he "misspoke" when he answered King's query "Do you remember doing it?" with "No."

There have been reports on the internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.

That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like 4 or 5 times -- and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said.

The first four times – or how ever many times it was - I gave the same answer -- which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, “Do you remember doing it?” and I said, “No.”

Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am or is what happened like anything I have ever done before.

As I have said several times previously, I am ashamed of and sorry for what happened that night and I wish I could relive that moment and change things, but I can’t. I take full responsibility for my actions. What I have to do now is to prove to the world that this was an isolated incident and that is not who I am and I intend to do so by my behavior now and in the future. -Chris Brown (Global Grind, "Chris Brown says he didn't black out.")

Hat tip to MrsGrapevine for that link.

Others have posted his statement as well, breaking into different camps--sympathetic vs. no sale. The latter see the singer's statement as a well-crafted bit of PR speak.

Having trained people to talk to the media before, I'll tell you what I think. I think that major parts of the beating are indeed "a blur" to this young man, that there are parts of what happened that Chris hasn't processed and that he really doesn't remember some of his actions that evening. Neither can he explain what turned him into a raging maniac. King kept asking him the same question over and over again because he recognized that Brown was giving him the talking points that his image consultant or media trainer or lawyer told him to give, and King wanted an answer from Chris's heart not the gospel according to image spin.

I've watched the early clips of Brown's interview with Larry King, which include Brown's mother and his attorney, and have decided to post two videos: 1.) The part of interview in which Brown says he doesn't remember beating Rihanna and 2.) CNN talking heads discussing the interview, how Brown must rebuild his image and appear contrite, but also how they are disappointed that he isn't more articulate about what he did and how he feels.

In June, Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault against Rihanna and was sentenced to five years probation and six months community service, which means for six months he'll be cleaning up public areas, "removing graffiti," for instance. He says he doesn't mind doing it. Some observers feel the sentence was far too light while others say the solution is not hard prison time but close monitoring and psychotherapy.

From CNN:

Pop star Chris Brown has admitted guilt and apologized for assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna in February, but he does not remember hitting the singer, he told CNN's Larry King.

Looking at police reports about the incident makes him feel like he's reading about a stranger, Brown said in his first television interview since the arrest.

"I'm in shock, because, first of all, that's not who I am as a person, and that's not who I promise I want to be," he said in an exclusive interview that airs Wednesday night.

"I just don't know what to think. I'm just like, wow," Brown said. "It's crazy to me."

Brown, 20, said he still loves singer Rihanna, whose full name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty.

But, he added, it is tough for him to look at the photo showing Rihanna's battered face, the one image that might haunt and define him forever.

"When I look at it now, it's just like, wow, like, I can't believe that that actually happened," Brown said.

...Why did it happen? How did it happen?

Those are questions Brown and his mother, Joyce Hawkins, have been asking.

"Chris has never, ever been a violent person, ever," Hawkins said.

However, CNN obtained a probation report for Brown last week that said he and Rihanna were involved in at least two other domestic violence incidents before the February attack for which Brown was sentenced.

"The first incident occurred in Europe about three months before the present offense," the report said.

"The victim [Rihanna] and the defendant [Brown] were involved in a verbal dispute and the victim [Rihanna] slapped the defendant [Brown]. He responded by shoving her into a wall."

Another incident happened in January, three weeks before the Hollywood incident, when Brown and Rihanna were visiting her home country of Barbados, the report said. (CNN)

In the second video, the CNN journalists discuss that people undergo hours and hours of media training to prepare for such an interview. They are correct. However, a good interviewer must break through the talking points and get the subject to be real. The interviewer seeks authenticity. Sometimes the authentic answer, however, will get the subject in hot water.

In Chris Brown's case, the average person won't believe he doesnt' remember. "I don't remember" sounds like a cop out.

The latter part of the second video is on the death of DJ AM.

Cross-posted at BlogHer.com

What Happened in the Revelus Home? 5-Year-Old Beheaded

You may read my full post at BlogHer.com, where I've included some updates. LINK.

I've been offline for a few days, and took a look at the news for the first time in a while. This story of carnage (fatal domestic violence Saturday) in the Revelus family of Milton, Mass.,--a 23-year-old stabbed his 17-year-old sister (Samantha) to death, decapitated his 5-year-old sister (Bianca, pictured) in front of a police officer, and then tried to kill his 9-year-old sister (Sarafina)--has me crying and nearly vomiting.

It sounds as though it's another case of a family not realizing that uncontrolled rage is nothing to take lightly, nothing a little extra loving will cure. The killer, Kerby Revelus, had been violent before, in trouble with the law, and another sister, who was not home during his bloody rampage, once called the police in 2004 after he punched her in the face, but she refused to cooperate with prosecutors and see the case through. I suspect she felt family pressure to drop the charges. She said she wasn't really afraid of him and he was just trying to be big and bad.

When are we going to learn to take people at their words and deeds once they show us they mean us harm? We can love them, but that doesn't mean we should avoid intervention, even if that intervention means an out-of-control loved one will be arrested and prosecuted. At some point we have to consider that the family members the violent members threaten deserve protection. If we refuse to get consistently angry and violent family members the help they need, thinking we can control them ourselves, then the day our worst nightmare comes to pass we can't claim to be shocked. Numb perhaps, but not shocked.

I say this, but the truth is that even if this family had pushed Kerby Revelus to get the help he needed, help may not have been available because mental health care for the poor in this country is nearly non-existent in some cities. In Revelus' state of Massachusetts, it was only last year that legislators passed a bill to get more mental health care for children. Revelus would not have qualified, however. Yet I must note that he'd been acting out since high school.

According to the video at Boston.com (link), Revelus argued with a neighbor the day before (link). The grandmother was in the basement doing laundry while Revelus murdered 17-year-old sister and his 5-year-old sister. He was about to kill a third sister, age 9, when police shot and killed him. The children's parents were not home.

You can read CNN's story here, but Boston.com has more details. The Boston Herald reports that the family moved to America from Haiti about five years ago. Photo from Yahoo News.

I can't process the information in my heart or head. This story is cross-posted with additional information at BlogHer.com, (link).

Rihanna, Chris Brown, Teen Views, and Victim Blaming

Feministe has a post discussing a new poll that indicates many Boston teens think Rihanna is at fault for Chris Brown beating her. Read Feministe here. The Boston Globe article on the poll is at this link. Below is my comment about why I think teens may find Rihanna at fault, and why some judges might do the same. The same comment at Feministe awaits moderation.

I watched and blogged on Robin Givens’ Larry King Live appearance about Rihanna. On the show was psychologist Stan Katz who had the following distinction to make between Rihanna’s behavior and Chris Brown’s behavior.

BEHAR: Let me start with you, Dr. Katz. You say there is a difference between female aggression and male abusiveness. Can you explain?

DR. STAN KATZ, PSYCHOLOGIST: Everyone was throwing this around, like there was violence in the car and she may have hit him or provoked him. Let’s make a distinction right away. Women can be aggressive with men, but they’re not abusive. Here is the difference, abuse contains intimidation, control and coercion.

BEHAR: It’s a power thing.

KATZ: A woman gets into a guy’s face. She may even spit at him. She may even stand right there with him. But it’s the power and control and coercion that really classifies as abuse. We have to make a distinction. Everybody can be aggressive. Lots of aggression in couples, intimate aggression. There’s a difference between aggression and abuse. We must clarify it.

Another guest, a domestic violence prosecutor and a woman, pretty much silenced him saying she didn’t want to hear any discussion. If anybody hits anyone it’s assault.

JEANNINE PIRRO, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROSECUTION EXPERT: Put them in jail. Stop this hogwash about treatment and intervention and getting everybody together. You don’t get the victim together with the abuser. To what? To try to –

(CROSS TALK)

PIRRO: It’s not a situation. It’s a crime. The sooner we recognize that, whether we talk about abuse or aggression, it doesn’t matter. It’s against the law. You hit someone, you go to jail.

I have personal experience with this mentality in the court room. Victims of domestic violence are told to not fight back because if they do, the judge will call it a fight and not an instance of wife abuse or partner abuse. Yes, I’ve been told that women should let men beat them to a pulp if they hope to win a domestic violence case.

I think teens approach the Brown/Rihanna situation the same way, remembering rules from their parents who, like the prosecutor, have a primary motivation of enforcing law and order/peace and quiet. So what do they say, “Nobody touch anybody.” And then they assign blame for the fighting based on who hit whom first.

If we can’t open up to a more intelligent discussion on domestic violence and stop looking for the most simplistic ways of addressing it, then we’ll keep seeing this disconnect on the topic, the inability to see that something’s wrong with someone beating the hell out of someone else who’s not nearly as strong as he is simply because “she hit me first” or worse, “she disrespected my manhood by mouthing off at me”

Perhaps we should explain it in terms of why a teen would be considered a coward for beating up a 4-year-old that kicked him or her in the shins. It’s a power issue and while we need to address the 4-year-old’s aggressive behavior, nothing excuses the teen for pounding the 4-year-old.

Analogies only go so far. I can already hear someone objecting that I’ve put women in the category of 4-year-olds, which I have not.

I think some men are happy to use the feminist movement as the reason it’s okay for them to beat up a woman who threw a shoe at them or punched them on the arm, whatever. It’s another twisting of reality such as claims that Affirmative Action is reverse discrimination. Simplistic views of society.

Here's a link to the CNN transcript I quoted: link.

Robin Givens on Domestic Violence, Rihanna, Chris Brown & Life with Mike Tyson

I saw the Larry King Live show last night that Joy Behar hosted. On it, actress Robin Givens discussed her life with former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson who used to beat her, and she said he hit her even before they were married. She talks about why she stayed and why she left.

I remember when her domestic violence case was news in the late 80s and early 90s, and people accused her of being a gold digger, said she was lying, and consistently made excuses for Mike Tyson the way some are making excuses for Chris Brown in the Rihanna case. She was called by some people in the black community "the most hated woman in America." But not by me. I always believed what she said about Tyson.

(Updated: Teresa Wiltz at The Root has a good post on Givens/Tyson and Rihanna/Brown, link.)

Only the most stubborn people continued to support Tyson after he was convicted of raping Miss Black Rhode Island and still believed he was a stand up guy even after he bit off Holyfield's ear in a boxing rematch. I recall that the many in the African American community also blamed the rape victim, Miss Rhode Island, for Tyson's raping her, asking why did she go to his room. We've got a serious problem with blaming women for men hitting and sexually assaulting them not just in the African American community but around the world.

If you can't see the Givens video, then you may read the transcript here. The video includes a clip from Sean Combs (P.Diddy) saying we shouldn't judge Chris Brown. His attitude seemed to offend Givens and others on the show; however, the panel agreed Brown is young enough to change with the right counseling. The video panel includes experts on and survivors of domestic violence.

Givens, who has two sons, one a teen, also expressed dismay that so many young people see Chris Brown as a role model and the message being sent to young males. Brown recently withdrew his name from nomination at Nickelodeon's Kids Choice awards. Prior to his withdrawal, some parents circulated a petition asking Nick to remove him from the awards show.

An important point for mothers of sons, Givens said she's wants to raise her sons to be men of integrity: "I'm determined to give the world good husbands and good fathers," she said.

CNN Transcript.

Carnage Here and There: Alabama and Germany Shootings

In Samson, Ala., a small town just above the Florida border, 11 people are dead after yesterday's shooting spree, including the killer. The shootings began at at the killer's mother's home and spread over four locations. By the time it was over dead bodies, including a child, lay across county lines (Geneva and Coffee counties). The killer ended his carnage by shooting himself.

CBS News video follows:


Watch CBS Videos Online

Counting the gunman's death, WSFA Alabama reports death toll at 12 (This source corrected itself in updates and now declares 10 people dead, plus the killer to equal 11 dead), and from its reports it sounds like another domestic violence incident expanded, beginning with the murder of the killer's mother and possibly a girlfriend.

The Coffee County coroner said McLendon started his day off with bloodshed at the Kinston area home owned by his mother; a home he ended up burning to the ground. The mother's body was still inside the house Tuesday evening, but Coroner Robert Preachers said officials had not been able to enter the house to determine if she was shot. It's also believed McClendon's girlfriend was killed inside the home. (WSFA)

The station has video interviews with a witness from the local paper.

CNN reports that the shooter, Michael McLendon, killed both family and strangers:

By the time McLendon ended his rampage, he had fatally shot his mother and set fire to her house, and killed his grandparents, his aunt and uncle, the wife and child of a sheriff's deputy, and three other people, according to King and the coroners of the two counties where the shootings occurred.

"He was shooting at just ordinary people going about their business," said Alabama state Sen. Harri Anne Smith.

Smith represents Geneva County, where all but one of the victims were killed. Smith said she had been briefed about the incident by state and local law enforcement.

... The shooting started about 4 p.m. at a house that McLendon shared with his mother, Lisa, in the town of Kinston, near the Florida border in Coffee County.

A passerby found the house on fire and alerted authorities. Inside, firefighters found the bodies of Lisa McLendon and four dogs, said county Coroner Robert Preachers.(CNN)

Authorities have not figured out McLendon's motive yet.

"He cleaned his family out," Coffee County Coroner Robert Preachers said. "We don't know what triggered it." (AP)

The AP also reports McLendon had once trained to be a police officer and days before the shootings he quit his job at a sausage factory.

CNN's just posted the story of Geneva County Sheriff's Deputy Josh Myers whose wife and child were killed by McLendon with the headline "Deputy: 'It's supposed to be me getting shot, not my family'."

... Myers quickly hung up the phone when he got that message on Tuesday and started home to Samson, having no idea what had happened to his wife or his three children.

"We got notified on the radio that a trooper was chasing a suspect that had fired shots," Myers told reporters on Wednesday.

Instead of heading home, the deputy drove to Reliable Metal Products plant in the nearby town of Geneva, where the gunman had shot and killed himself after a bloody rampage in southern Alabama ... Myers had no idea that the man, whose body he saw at the plant, had shot and killed his wife and 1½-year-old daughter, Corinne Gracy, and shot and wounded his 3-month-old baby girl, Ella Kay.(CNN)

Two of Meyers children survived.


Germany Massacre at a School

While we watch the news of McLendon's shooting spree and absorb its horror here in the states, another shooting story unfolds in Germany, Europe. Time Magazine and other news sources report a gunman killed 17 people at Albertville school near Stuttgart, Germany.

Police say 17-year-old Tim K., a former student who graduated from the Albertville high school last year, opened fire in two classrooms early Wednesday morning before fleeing. He hijacked a car, triggering a manhunt, and was found in a nearby town where he was confronted by police and killed in the ensuing shootout.

The death toll brings the killing on par with Germany's worst school shooting ever, when a 19-year-old killed 12 teachers, a secretary, two students and a police officer and himself in Erfurt in 2002.

Read the full story at this link.

Related: Santa Claus Massacre in California last year

Updated Links:

• TimesOnlike.co.uk: McLendon Kept Revenge List
• LA Times: McLendon was Friendly with Everyone

Some people have been hitting this blog wondering what race was the Alabama killer Michale McLendon. To them I recommend an old post about the Virginia Tech massacre called, "The Colors of Killers."

 

Chris Brown's Mystery Woman in her 40s?

TMZ is reporting and HuffPo is repeating that the woman who triggered the argument between Rihanna and Chris Brown that resulted in Rihanna's savage beating by Brown is an older woman, Browns's manager.

Sources tell us the woman who left the three-page text message on Brown's cell phone is Tina Davis. Davis -- who turns 40 this month -- was rumored to have had a relationship with Brown when he was 16. Brown and Davis have denied it.

Law enforcement tells us the text message to Brown talked about hooking up later -- and it totally pissed off Rihanna. She slapped and hit him and he then brutally fired back. (TMZ)

Keep in mind Brown and Davis have denied having an affair or being sexually involved. Brown, who will be 20 in May, debuted at age 16.

If Davis sent the text messages and the rumor of the affair is true, then it's further proof that the other woman is not necessarily better looking or younger as recently discussed under why men cheat.

Experts on cheating say the other woman is usually someone who makes the male feel important and needed and therefore her looks are not the issue women think it is. In Brown's case could it be something else, a mommy complex perhaps? From what I see in the video, Davis doesn't look motherly. Whenever I've been approached by a younger man, I assume he assumes I have sexual expertise. No, I don't date younger men, especially ones young enough to be my son, but I have been approached by them.

All this is speculation because TMZ, while getting celebrity scoops, is still a gossip rag. It's the same site that released pictures of what they claimed was Rihanna's face after the beating. Some people felt that was in bad taste, and I know some people believe discussing celebrity gossip is in bad taste period.

Generally, I don't care what celebrities do, but a case like this opens discussion on other social issues that matter beyond celebrity, domestic violence, infidelity, female and male insecurity.

According to TMZ, the video below is of Tina Davis, the Chris Brown mystery woman.



Hmm, she doesn't look like a cradle robber. If this story of a sexual relationship isn't true, TMZ has some explaining to do as do the police who keep leaking information on this case.

The Chris Brown-Rihanna drama has forced a needed conversation and debate up the black community's agenda, domestic violence and the excuses we make for it. Currently, eyes are on Rihanna as we wonder will she testify against Brown?

Females victims of domestic violence often back down after being made to feel that their testimony will ruin the man's life. I wouldn't be surprised if Rihanna is being told that about Brown, that if she doesn't testify, he won't go to jail and so she can save him. Will she save him but not herself?

Other Links

* Women of Color, Domestic Violence, and Rihanna's Face at Racewire
* When the Black Woman's Image of Strength Becomes a Hindrance

Friday Night Wind Down: Watchmen Not , Michael Jackson, Tony Harris, Chris Brown-Rihanna & Instant Starbucks?

I didn't get to see Watchmen as planned today. Started out this morning with my adult kids saying we'd go at 1:00, and then my father, 88, got involved wanting to help my daughter get her flat tire fixed. Next 1:00 became 3:35 p.m. and then 4:40 p.m. showing. Now we're postponing until Sunday because I don't want to be in the movies with a boatload of people tonight. O.K., this means I can read the graphic novel here at the house tomorrow.

It's a good thing tonight's a great TV night, Ghost Whisperer, even though it's getting sillier, Numb3rs, Dollhouse, Sarah Connor Chronicles, and Battlestar Galactica. Thank God for DVRs so I can store up shows for a rainy day or boring afternoon.

And then I saw CNN pushing Reggie Aqui singing "Islands in the Stream" with Dolly Parton, who in her interview talked about when she decided to look trashy. I never thought of her that way. That Aqui/Parton duet was cute, but not nearly as entertaining as Tony Harris yesterday impersonating Michael Jackson.

I saw it, the video at the top of this post, in the morning while sitting with my dad at Max Tax, a black-owned tax preparation company in Gretna, La. The owner's nephew worked on my dad's taxes and the kid looked to be about 13, but he's 24. Oh, I'm getting old but apparently not so old that my dad doesn't still boss me around.

Anyway, yesterday Michael Jackson announced his final 10-concert tour called "This is It!" and all day long people were either loving on him or hating on him. I'm neutral at this point. But his face and hair. Oy! The King of Pop is making a comeback with a London tour that he says will be his final curtain call in July. He told the crowd he loved them repeatedly and that he will be performing the songs his fans wants to hear.

What do we call him now, an expatriate? Media's calling him broke, more than 200 million in debt. But the crowds were out saying "We still love you, Michael." You can't deny his talent.

On the odd news front, I love coffee, and since I moved back I've been drinking PJ's because I love its Southern Pecan blend. Still, I go back to Starbucks Coffee sometimes. My daughter got me a reloadable card. But isn't the whole point of gourmet coffee fresh distinctive taste? I thought so, but today I heard Starbucks is introducing an instant coffee. I dunno. It just seems wrong.

So much for the lighter side. Maybe this weekend I'll get around to talking about the Chris Brown-Rihanna mess and Brown being charged with her assault. It's depressing, but I may post more on it later. Here's an update video from CNN.


Furthermore, Womanist Musings has good commentary as always, The Violence We Don't Talk About.

Related Links:
* OSF: The Jackson. How Can a Child Sing Like That?
* Welcome to Joss Whedon's Dollhouse at BlogHer.
* The Jennifer Hudson Tragedy in Domestic Violence Month